January - A Special Month

January. It's always been my favorite month. Winter is my favorite season because of snow and all things cozy. And January in right in the thick of it all. But since 2015 it's become a month of reflection. Especially towards the end of the month. It's also bittersweet. I don't process mixed emotions very well. They usually just frustrate and anger, and sadden me. But I'm getting better lol.


Why January is such a roller coaster?

One, it's the month I was born in. The 29th. So naturally I use the reminder to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going in life. Two, it's the month my late mare Twist passed away in. The 30th.  She meant the world to me and losing her was devastating. Also my parents wedding anniversary is in January. The 31st. It's something we usually celebrate as a family.

All that in three days one after the next.

So this year I want to share my thoughts and feelings with you all..

This past year I lost a decent job. Got a better job. Got a horse. Joined a new gym. Put on some muscle. Got an apartment with a bedroom. Lots of good things happened to me! I know 2017 was awful for so many but it was pretty kind to me. I had some moments. But that's life. It's all ups and downs. Nothing is static.

I've grown a bit more as a person too. I've realized how truly despicable most people actually are. I know that sounds counter-intuitive to personal growth but really rejecting reality would be narrow minded. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of good people out there though! There are some diamonds in the rough! While most people will lie and cheat to chase strive after the wind. Some people will hold their integrity even if it makes things harder on them, some are generous, and some are just rays of light with so much positivity and can do attitudes.

We need to look for people that bring out the best in us. Remove toxic people from your life! Or at least limit your exposure to them.

Have balance in everything.

***

Three years ago I lost a huge part of me. Twist was my life! She was not a young mare, but at 17 she was too young to die. It was a fluke case of colic. Her guts twisted and strangulated themselves. I couldn't afford surgery no matter how many favors I tried to call in. It's a heartbreaking choice some of us have to make.

I remember when I first tried her out for a couple weeks. I actually told my parents I didn't want her. I felt like we didn't click at all. But my mom knows a good thing when she see's it and even though she's not an equestrian she saw something special in that big red mare.

Three years after we bought her I finally saw it for myself. I still get mad that I merely flatted her all that time. Everyone including me thought she was lazy. No! She was bored. Even low jumps bored her to death. We thought she didn't like jumping because she knocked them all over. No! She wanted a challenge. Bump it up to 2'9" or so and she woke up to be a fire breathing red dragon!

She was trained as a hunter but after dabbling in dressage this Quarter Horse mare liked to lift her shoulders and dance a little. She finally enjoyed her work and looked forward to it. She felt fulfilled. We planned to show her and then breed her the year she passed. We even had a stud picked out. It was like two losses when it hit me. I'd never see that foal frolic. I'd never have a piece of her live on and train and show with once I retire her.

                                 I pray I find a mare I can connect with so much again.

***

In the past month I've learned a bit about Swedish culture. And even though I'm not of Scandinavian decent, I connect with their culture so much its like the home I've always been wishing I had.

Two words that they use really speak to me because in my personal development over the past ten years I've come to value their meanings and apply them in my life.

Hygge- is a Danish and Norwegian word which can be described as a quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being. Acknowledging a feeling or moment, whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary as cosy, charming or special

Lagom- a Swedish word meaning "just the right amount". The Lexin Swedish-English dictionary defines lagom as "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right". Lagom is also widely translated as "in moderation", "in balance", "perfect-simple", and "suitable". Whereas words like sufficient and average suggest some degree of abstinence, scarcity, or failure, lagom carries the connotation of appropriateness, although not necessarily perfection. "Not to much, Not to little"

So I have tried to enjoy everything or make everything enjoyable. Especially the simple things. That is a relatively new concept for me and I'm REALLY enjoying it! It's therapeutic and relaxing. A concept not so new to me is BALANCE! I have long preached about how balance is key. So finding a culture based off of that in both large and small matters was comforting. 

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Well that's all I've got today guys!! I'm sorry I haven't been posting much but I hope you all enjoyed this one!

P.S. Would you all like if I started making videos? I've been getting an itch to try doing a video testing different makeup to see how it holds up to riding, life, and gym???? Comment "YES" If you think I should try it :)