What's Wrong With Me? || And What Happens When I Fly?
Here I am... Blogging on vacation.. Shame on me..
So let's start about 10 years ago..
We were living in Vicksburg Mississippi and my parents decided we were gonna take a trip to New York!
My 13/14 year old self was excited to fly for the first time ever. My Grandfather was a mechanical engineer, or troubleshooter for airplanes. So I was excited to experience what he had a passion for. Especially since I never really got to know him personally because he became paralyzed when I was only 4 and he couldn't move, talk, or eat on his own.
So we got settled in the plane and..... I start to shiver a little. I wasn't cold though. As the plane engines get going I shiver a little again. We start moving and I shiver a little more. One we finally start going down the runway I strategy to shiver even more. Now I'm just shaking. As we take off I start shaking even worse.
Nothing has changed since then...
Everytime I fly, I shake. My brother says I "convulse". I honestly believe I'm having a mini-panic attack.
I've had panic attacks when I was too stressed and it's essentially the same thing. The only difference is my state of mind beforehand. When overly stressed I feel very desperate. When flying I feel...actually..now that I'm typing this up..I realize it is the same basic desperation but with a different cause.
When stressed the cause is being beyond the point of frustration. When flying it's the fact that I don't want to do it. I don't like it. I like solid ground. I am not afraid of flying. I just HATE the feeling of it.
Now, in the past 3 years I've developed this pain to flying.
The first time was my first flight since that trip to New York when I was 14. It was a few years ago. We were in the air, cruising. And then. It hit me. This sudden, debilitating, imobilizing, unbearable pain. My head felt pressurized. My forehead/brow bones, cheek bones, temples, and ears felt this sharp, sharp pain. I literally thought I was having an aneurysm. A friend of the family had one and it fit the description. But after a minute I realized it wasn't because I was alive and awake. The pain made me cry. It's excruciating. It didn't stop until 20 minutes after the flight.
Since then I've had this pain on nearly all my flights. And typing this up today I still have some of that pain from my flight yesterday.
I was tired of ignoring it so instead of paying for a doctor I looked to Google LOL.
However the answer was easy to find
So it's nice to finally know what it is. However... hopefully it's not gonna get so bad I need more extensive treatment beyond ibuprofen which by the way barely helped.
So why didn't I have this issue in my first trip?
Well since that trip I've broke my nose once and slammed my face really hard in a bad car accident.
Does anyone else have this problem? Lol
I'm gonna try and be good and not blog anymore until I get home but.... We'll see..
So be on the lookout for more posts about this trip to Maine. It's my first time skiing. Lord help me... And of course there's always lots of immature shenanigans to laugh about.